The Count has an eye on his ankle
*And* lives in a horrible place
He wants all your money
He’s never at all funny
He wants to remove your face
And you might be thinking what a romp this is
But wait till you meet his accomplices
When you see Count Olaf
You’re suddenly full of disgust and despair and dismay
In the whole of the soul of Count Olaf
There’s no love
When you see Count Olaf count to zero
Then scream and run away
Scream, scream, scream and run away
Run, run run run run run run run
Or die, die die die die die die die
Run, run run run run run run run
Or die, die die die die die die die die die die
Two women with powdered-white faces.
And one long nosed bald man with warts.
Things worsen and worsen, there’s a hook-handed person
And others with nastier parts.
This evil and unpleasent group
Complete’s Count Olaf’s acting troupe
The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of
The fortunes of urchins and orphans, hooray!
I mean horrors! Count Olaf is no laughing matter.
When you see Count Olaf, count to zero…
Then scream, and run away.
Scream, scream, scream, then run away.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die die die die die die die
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.
